Comments on: Page 1532…

By: Charles Ranier

Charles Ranier — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 22:18:21 +0000

the point is, if you put something in that’s particularly super clever, winking at the reader at your cleverness, you are drawing attention to yourself and taking the reader out of the book. It’s jarring. Pay no attention to the writer behind the curtain.

It’s also part of the editing process, whereby anything that does not further the plot is filler and needs to be cut. It’s a good editing rule.

By: Desmond

Desmond — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 16:00:34 +0000

And one more TWC report. #2: 9,445 votes. We, #3, 9,316. Almost there once again. Please vote!

By: Bezman

Bezman — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 12:06:37 +0000

Yes, I realized that after posting. And also that I partly reacted to some other posts as well… This is very much Felicity’s true personality.
I guess the overall context with all the horrified faces and corresponding comments (in #1530), combined with this grave comment from Nas gave me another impression than what you write – thanks for the explanation.

On another note: I must say I detect a tremendously good job hiding the fact that you currently only have one (?) female Egyptian model to work with – am I right?
The lack of comments implies that no one else has spotted that yet… Superb mixes of “partial faces”, focus blurs and whatnot. Took me days to spot – kudos!

By: Pashakitty

Pashakitty — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:33:58 +0000

I followed your link and read what he wrote, and personally I don’t see the point. Why cut the best stuff? That seems either pretty arrogant or pretty stupid, take your pick. I love running across lines of brilliance in books and stories, it makes them stand out for me rather than jolting me out of the story. Otherwise it’s just the same old same old and you might as well cut and past one persons writing style in to another persons story.

Oh, and in explanation of why I think cutting your best stuff is arrogant is because it imply’s that your readers are too stupid to either catch what you are saying, or they are such placid sheep that one line of brilliance is going to so shock them that they will no longer enjoy what they are reading. So arrogance or stupidity, take your pick.

By: Pashakitty

Pashakitty — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:21:35 +0000

Oops, just realized that I got it wrong what Bast was a Goddess of, but if you read further down you will get the gist.

By: Pashakitty

Pashakitty — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:18:07 +0000

Hah! So true!

By: Pashakitty

Pashakitty — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:17:05 +0000

Actually to the Egyptians cats were Gods, I think that’s what everyone else is so worried about. Think Bast, the cat headed Goddess of love and beauty.

By: Pashakitty

Pashakitty — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:07:21 +0000

Oh man, I so want some of your watercolor’s! Don’t have the money at the moment but so want! Especially the one with Ash from Army of Darkness! One of my favorite B movies!

By: eee

eee — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 04:03:44 +0000

Ah, but keep in mind, the Pharaoh seems pretty knowledgeable about what’s going on and who his guests are. Seraphopolis may be new territory for our heroes, but the city’s rulers appear pretty hip to Dreamland culture… And maybe relations between Nas and Fel. I doubt he’s going to over-react to this…

By: Charles Ranier

Charles Ranier — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 23:50:21 +0000

@Scott: yes, but. (and that’s a heavy “but” as Bill Cosby said once)

Funny as Nastajia’s line is to the reader, within the story context, when one is on a diplomatic mission to a heretofore undiscovered country, without knowing or understanding cultural cues or local humor, saying “you have unleashed evil” to the host country’s rulers would most likely considered at best a breach of etiquette and at worst a declaration of hostilities.

Yeah, it’s funny, but it’s a “kill all your darlings” moment. Like so: http://www.talkingsquid.net/archives/32

Don’t know if I’d keep it. But it’s your story, we’re just on the other side of the fourth wall.