The Dreamland Chronicles Page 254…
Hi!
I’ll be posting Chapter 4 every day, so please come back every day for a new page.
If you’d like to skip forward to see the rest (and Chapter 5), they’re updating twice a week on our Patreon.
Thank you!
Scott
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Don’t get involved!!!!!
I’ve made a lot of comments to this point – well-earned comments – about how good Tracy is doing with the art. This is the perfect page for me to address another area of improvement: the dialog. Scott did a great job with the original dialog (once you got used to the random sprinkling of bolded and italicized words ?), but there were a few pages, like this one, where the dialog was a little awkward. For those of you who aren’t obsessively looking at each new page side by side with the original (isn’t OCD fun?), the guard’s original response to Kiwi’s demand was, “Is that a fact? And why would I do that?” (bolds & italics removed) This isn’t terrible, just awkward: it begs the question, “Is what a fact?” I think we can all agree the new version is much smoother.
So kudos to whomever is smoothing out the dialog! ?